"hi, my name is heidi and i am the life of the party," i said my confidence flaking like a croissant. she gave me a half-hearted smile and my friend interrupts overhearing the conversation and butts in, "you can't just say that, you gotta earn it." those words stuck with me. you have to earn it. okay, let's see if I can...

hi my names is heidi I am the life of the party

see me over there partying every weekend in one way or another

kickbacks, house parties, pool parties,

the indigo hue swallowing the orange and red

​

see me over there, an off-brand sapphire plastic cup

my fingertips that trace the rim

the amber scrubbing my dry skin with a wire brush

​

see me over there

cannonballing into the pool fully clothed

laughing and choking up water as

i reach the surface

creating a trend of drenched t-shirts and

water spilling over onto the pool deck

my grandmother's voice in the back of my head

"keep the water inside the pool"

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see me over there feet up against the fire pit

talking up every high school cliche

the popular kids, the nerds, the skaters

creating personas with a click of a button on a wii remote choosing a character in mario kart

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see me over there wearing a jeweled top with light-wash jeans that hug my hips

as my father's eyes imply words that do not cross his lips 

​

see me over there dancing

with no particular place to go

losing the hundreds of people around me

swaying with the blinding lights

blend into the blue abyss

disappearing into music and light

​

just one night maybe I could just be...

​

heidi,

the life of the party