I miss you
My sweet younger self
I miss you
With all my heart

Your simple life
Your sweet smile
Your beautiful laugh
Your happy mind

You never wanted to hurt anyone
You loved your parents no matter what
You loved them even though they hurt you
But you vowed to love people no matter what

You played outside
You had good friends
You protected life
Because you thought life protected you

You can’t imagine
How much your brain would change
How much potential you held
But you were happy

I miss that happy feeling
I miss you
I miss laughing at simple things
And smiling no matter how much things hurt

You grew into me
But I never forgot you
I don’t live for me
Because I live for you

I hold your ideals
I hold your visions
I hold your creativity
And I try to incorporate them into my life

But it’s not that simple
I have wants and needs
Different from yours
And I feel like I failed to live up to you

I know it’s funny
To be inspired by my young self
But you envisioned what I could not
And it seems as if I lost you

Time marches forward
And it seems time has caused me to lose you
And I don’t know who to be
Without you

I don’t know who I am
Or what I want to be
But if you were here to guide me
Life would be so much easier

I feel like a different person
I feel like you were never me
And that I was never you
And I feel ashamed to call my self “Matthew”

You were kind, loving, and caring
And I feel like I could never be those things
Ever since I lost you, I’ve hurt people
I’ve lost people, and I’ve lost myself

You smiled through everything
You smiled when our parents hit us
When they hurt us
And you still managed to love them

When I lost you it felt like I lost them
I couldn’t see my parents the same
Because they hurt you
Because they hurt me

I lost all the aspects that makes me you
And I became someone else
Some may call that “growth”
But I call it failure

And everyday that passes, I miss you more
And I can’t help but wish
Wish that I was I still you
So I miss you, Matthew Floyd, I miss you