January 16, 2017

I remember thinking it’ll be a good day

I put on my favorite blue shirt

I brushed my teeth and hair

Everything was perfect

I got outside for the bus at the perfect time

My favorite seat was open and waiting for me

The day had a flawless amount of sun

I would have never expected that I wouldn’t see you again

The ride to school was perfect

The way the shine hit my head was perfect

The air in the school was perfect

The tears on my friend's faces were perfect

The tears? I didn’t understand

The walk to the classroom was ominous

The air felt denser, making it harder to breathe

The teachers looked dejected and lost

The world didn’t seem so perfect anymore

I walked into the classroom and a wall of sadness smacked me in the face

My mood changed and suddenly I felt woeful

I knew something was wrong but I couldn’t quite tell

I knew something was wrong when my friend walked up to me and asked if I heard what happened

I knew something was wrong when I looked around and didn’t see you there

I just knew

She looked at me and asked again

I told her I hadn't heard anything at all 

That I’ve only seen people crying

She looked at me sorrowfully and told me those gut-wrenching words

“He’s gone. He got in a car crash and…”

The rest of the words were muffled in my mind

The world came to a halt, my mind was spinning

Her words were echoing, failing to fade away

I couldn’t comprehend

I just saw you yesterday, making me laugh

I remember the week before we made paper chicken nuggets for you

I remembered it all

Every memory came flooding back 

It was all too much and the tears started streaming down my face

I never cry at school but I did on January 16, 2017

The rest of the day was a blur

We had chicken rings for lunch but they lacked any pleasing flavor

We read the book we started just yesterday, but it wasn’t pleasurable 

The day came and went 

It didn’t feel like it was the end of the day like I still had hours to go

I made it to the pickup line and waited for my mom

She pulled up and I jumped into her truck

The ride was silent, she then asked how my day was

I started crying uncontrollably

We pulled into the parking lot of a church so she could comfort me

I told her everything that took place and she held me

I asked her “Why you? Why did it have to be you?” 

I couldn’t get an answer, no one knew why

The rest of the day I was thinking over and over again

Why you?

I still don’t know why

I do know how, where, and when 

Yet, I still wonder why 

But I’m glad to have met you

I wouldn’t trade anything for that 4th grade year