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i'm not smart
i’m not smart.
i want to be.
try not to let the jealousy
wash over me
but i believe
i can succeed
when i just try.
i’ve failed
and failed
till tears ran dry
said that’s not me.
2 am and i nod off.
no breaks.
i tell myself i’m not soft
i will ace
every test you give to me
any problem i receive
i’ve crafted this.
no more breaks
that last hours
no self care
who needs showers?
i can handle this.
because who am i if not the one
who has never heard of fun
scolds herself for messing up
and has never
ever
seen the sun?
i’m not smart.
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gifted kid syndrome