I had heard stories 

of my mother's childhood as a kid

And it wasn't until I got older 

that I realized I'm just like her

Even though I was young 

when I was told of the horrors 

my mother had experienced

I wanted to save her so bad

I think that's why I tried to go with her 

every time she left

She could've spat in my face 

and I still would've clung to her leg 

begging her to take me with

Fast-forward ten years later

She left again a few months ago

But this time I didn't want to go with her

Because even if I had gone

I would have eventually been 

begging her to stay

There's always something she wants 

more than me

I want more too

We don't fill each other's emptiness 

I didn't know it until January 27th

When I was sitting in her car

I had spent so much of my life 

trying to save her

That I couldn't save either of us

But forget that

She doesn't want to be saved

Even at 42

But I do

I want to be saved

And she's been sabotaging my health 

at every turn

I know she's in pain

But I also know it's her choice to stay in it

I don't have to survive at rock bottom

I don't have to bring others down with me

I'm a lot like my mother 

but I don't have stay that way 

I'm going to save 

myself