A moment of hesitation named Warmth;

I found myself in this cradling cocoon

The night before’s promise echoes in my head,

“Wake up at 7:00.”

I watched the hands on the clock 

Tiptoe past the hour.

I lay, netted, in my bed,

Good intentions for myself

Slip through the strainer of wakefulness

like grains of sand.

I didn’t wake up at that time.

Should’ve.

Could've.

Didn’t.

A moment of hesitation named Warmth;

Hot cocoa sits in the depths of my stomach

“Don’t drink it. 

I drank it.”

The cup poured like an hourglass I was aware --

I guess 

I didn’t care.

My judgment is clouded,

Self-doubt continues to rise

And planes rise through those clouds 

Casting shadows over my resolve.

I doubt I’ll ever make the sacrifice

To do what’s best for me

I’m unreliable

I guess I don’t want to change enough.