Change comes with time

Change of the human body 

Change of mind 

Change of friends

What's so beautiful about the concept of time?

All time has ever done is take away everything that makes me whole

It takes away my innocence

My relationships

What has happened to me? 

Is it time or change that is hurting me?

I don’t think it’s both

I want me back 

I want you back

Just like the rest of us, you were taken with time 

It changed you, just like all of us 

I miss you 

I felt so powerful back then

When I was trusted and mature 

When I was able to hold a conversation

When I wasn’t held captive by my mind 

You were hurt back then

And I helped you 

And it felt like everything

And that is what my world had become

You bring me to these amazing people

And I follow you

And I continue to help you 

And with time, you healed

You healed and grew brighter

You brought in more amazing people

People I will never grow to love

I will never grow to love them like you

You healed and there was nothing I couldn’t help anymore 

There were other people for that

Other people to help what I couldn’t anymore

I wasn’t the first anymore 

And I’ve come to terms with it but it hurts

It hurts

There’s nothing I can do anymore

While you are getting brighter my world is being destroyed

I want what we had before 

I want it back

I don’t want to only hear part of the story

I don’t want to be a rebound 

A back up

I don’t want to just be there anymore

I want to be your everything

Just like how I used to be

If you don’t have a problem

Let me give you one

Let me give you a problem so you can come back to me

Let me be your problem 

Let me be a problem so we can talk like we used to

Do I miss you? 

Or do I miss me?

Do I miss us?

Or do I miss my old self? 

How back then, my old self was complete

Do you even recognize me anymore?

If I wasn’t afraid of being alone I would’ve left by now

If I wasn’t afraid of dying then I would be gone by now

But no 

I’m a coward and I’m selfish 

I’m completely aware of how I feel, what I do, how I act 

I'm completely aware that I worry everyone

That I piss everyone off 

That I hurt everyone

I’m ashamed of myself, but I can’t stop

I don’t know if I ever will stop 

I know I can

But I won’t

I know I should 

But I won’t

I know it’d be for the better of everyone 

But I won’t

Do I continue this because I’m changing? 

Do I continue this because I refuse to change? 

Or do I continue this because it’s the only thing I have learned to feel? 

The thought of changing terrifies me

But I’m going to have to learn to accept it

With the passing of time comes change

And what I do with that change is up to me and me only

Selfishness, insecurity, jealousy, rage

I shouldn’t need to keep it all in anymore

It’s time to apologize

It’s time to take that step

It’s time to take responsibility

It’s time to go back