End Of The World

night air never felt more like the sweet solitude

for I sit here, dead but breathing

my body rots but my head has never been clearer

the end of the world crests over the horizon

blues and reds screaming across the endless dawn

for I have fallen in love with sunshine and life

but the leathery skin of the end grips me in a vice

welcoming it has never been easier as the sky burns

messed up fallacies blur into focus as mortality holds me in her tender embrace

whole and unadulterated she waits for me to decide

none of it matters as the air leaves my lungs

my decision is made as the world ends

2:18

too late for me to exist

poetry is the escape I need, but the words flow senselessly from my spiraling cortex

I miss it more than anything, the sun and crisp morning air

day can't come soon enough, but sleeplessness pulls the joy from it

the sun rises and sets every day, and still, I sit

motionless

convalescing

downward spiral

First Love/Late Spring

I would jump if you told me to

pull push

you pull me in, gentle touch and caressing eyes

push

sidelong glances

I'm the only one in the world you see

it's all a delusion of grand proportion

each touch, word, look, feel, kill me

today you walk me to class, down the hall, bump shoulders, laughing quietly

but tomorrow you sit, back turned, eyes down, contempt, annoyance

what do you want?

I know what I want, just a second longer looking into your eyes, your smile, love, shared breath

but you are confused, and if I wait longer for you i swear ill wait forever

clinging, annoying, wandering eyes

if you were in a crowd, I would notice you first

lock eyes, shared glance, shared thoughts, shared smile

if a little is all you can give me, I will take it and run

past the confusion, disloyalty, disregard

I am broken

please don't say you love me