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dieing
i'm slipping deeper and deeper into the darkness,losing my sight,my hearing,myslef all together!the pain i used to feel is slowly dulling,becoming numb!the pain might be gone right now but as soon as someone says something to remind me of why i was running away i fall again,tripping but instead of hurting my legs,my knees,or arms i feel it ALL in my heart and it breaks!and as i pick myself up again and get over the pain i realize that slowly but surely i am dieing!
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This article has 4 comments.
Cool! I can't wait to read the new poems when they come out! :)
-Lilac
Thanks so much for the advice...I was normally gonna take and do that but at the time I was so busy I never really had the time but now that I have more time I try to take and do that more often....As a matter of fact I have 4 new poems pending that I did that in so yea :D But thank you so much :)
I have read most of your poems, and I find them really interesting and vivid. I like the word choice and imagery A LOT. But I must say that I think they would be even more amazing if you broke the lines up a bit more. For example, in this particular poem it would give the whole thing a bigger "boom" if there was blank space making you pause and think between the lines
"i pick myself up again and get over the pain i realize that"
"slowly but surely i am dieing!"
Just my viewpont, but no matter what, you should KEEP WRITING. You are really good!
-Lilac