Edward my past
Jacob my present
whats special about theses guys?
...they both hold a possible future
confusion
endless questionnaire
doubts
possibilities
all thoughts mix and crash
making me scream for help
who's is the right choice?!
i don't know, you don't know
nobody knows...
only the future can tell
ugh!
why..why me?
shaking the magic 8-ball i desperately look for answers
who is my knight in shining armor?
outcome is so so
ahhhhh!
i throw the so called mystical ball toward my wall
it breaks into a hundred pieces
for being a fortune teller it freaking sucks!
i sit down
i take in a deep breath
i close my eyes
the pitch black air fades and forms into three roads
in the first one i see Jacob
in his baggy jeans he poses as a bad-boy
but i look at his chest and his heart shines bright and open
in the second i see Edward
he holds a pink rose
filled with thorns to symbolize
that even with our never ending arguments we have a beautiful memory
but i also notice that i am part of his own double tunneled problem
me his past
and Vicky his present
behind him i see an uptight ready to battle monster
..his mom
till this day she still hates me
in her eyes i can never out stand Vicky and her perfection
i am the opposite i am a hot mess
but with my flaws Edward still sees me as the girl of his dreams
i can spend days without kissing Jacob
but one first kiss from Edward has made my world twist and twirl into heaven
but Jacob has this magic on his finger tips that makes me do things I've always said i would never do
the third tunnel has no one
only a river
surrounded by trees and trees and more trees
i walk to a stool
where my easel stands
a white sheet of paper calls my attention and pulls me like a magnet
i sit down and begin to draw
i pour out everything
my hands begin to burn
but i don't stop
tears run down my face
and the scenery gets murky
....
wala!
i am done
my art is full of butterflies
..sad butterflies
wanting to fly away but they are being held back
i take the paper and i lay it in the clear blue sweat water
it floats to the middle
silence lurks all around
and as my final tear drops out of my eye i scream
FLY AWAY!
all the butterflies come to life and fly toward the sky
the darkness goes away
they fly all around me
as if they know i am their creator
unexpectedly i notice i am off the ground
i am flying
they gave me my wings
and they were telling me to fly away
but like them something was holding me back
..Edward and Jacob were holding me back