All Nonfiction
- Bullying
- Books
- Academic
- Author Interviews
- Celebrity interviews
- College Articles
- College Essays
- Educator of the Year
- Heroes
- Interviews
- Memoir
- Personal Experience
- Sports
- Travel & Culture
All Opinions
- Bullying
- Current Events / Politics
- Discrimination
- Drugs / Alcohol / Smoking
- Entertainment / Celebrities
- Environment
- Love / Relationships
- Movies / Music / TV
- Pop Culture / Trends
- School / College
- Social Issues / Civics
- Spirituality / Religion
- Sports / Hobbies
All Hot Topics
- Bullying
- Community Service
- Environment
- Health
- Letters to the Editor
- Pride & Prejudice
- What Matters
- Back
Summer Guide
- Program Links
- Program Reviews
- Back
College Guide
- College Links
- College Reviews
- College Essays
- College Articles
- Back
Fix the Pain
Something new in this time
An eclipse of the purity of rhyme
Your head is the factory
Your heart makes the fantasy
Something to fix this pain
An option to stay sane
A rainbow light everlasting
Or a cell of darkness abiding
In your factory called a head
The poison starts to spread
Just need something to fix this pain
To help you stay sane
Your head is the factory
Your heart makes the fantasy
There are two paths you must choose one
The darkness of depths or the light of the sun
In your factory called a head
The poison starts to spread
Wishing you were dead
As you start to dread
What it’s going to take
To fix the things you break
Something to fix the pain
To help you stay sane
Similar Articles
JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 15 comments.
Here-to-be-here thanks for the critic I'll take what you said into consideration.
Mimi thanks and it's meant to be free verse and that's how free verse is supposed to be....but I'll post some poems that aren't free verse and you can tell me what you think!:) Dido!:)
The second and fourth stanza's were off beat
Second :: "A rainbow light everlasting/ Or cell of darkness abiding" (Edit and revise)
Fourth:: "There are two paths you must choose one/ The darkness of depths or light of the sun"
SOooo heres what I think you should do with it
Second:: "A rainbows light everlasting/ Or a cell of darkness disconsorting (It has to flow in a pattern think syllables)
Fourth:: "There are two paths/ you must choose one or the other (new stanza) "Write about the last line of the fourth stanza :)
Fifth Stanza:: "As you start to dread" ~~~REVISION~~~
"And trust me you will start to dread"
That's about it sry im in a picky mood today I really like where you are going with this one :) Keep writing!!!
Wow... This sounds like something i would expect from myself, or maybe Marilyn Manson (Don't worry because I compared you to him... i do it to almost everybody for some reason)
This is very deep and well written. While reading this i found myself thinking of my own life, and times in it that i felt this way. For some reason i got the feeling of (again) Marilyn Manson... It's hard to explain, but he is my Idol, and for me to compare you so closely to him seems like a compliment to me. (take it how you wish)
28 articles 4 photos 174 comments
Favorite Quote:
"Writing songs is super intimate. It's a bit like getting naked"~ Gwen Stefani