The darkness surrounds me,
As my thoughts drown in.
I am engulfed by the voice of my past,
The one which speaks so loudly.
Reminding me of the mistakes,
All of the memories replay in my head.
I watch shamefully,
As I realize the real damage i've done.
Not only to myself,
But to those I have cluelessly pushed away.
The past is the past;
Simply unchangeable,
And unforgettable.
But the future is not the future,
I have control and power,
Of the life ahead.
More mistakes will be made,
The regrets will never vanish.
But comfort comes with knowing I determine my own fate.
Along with that,
Come great fear.
What if the tables never turn?
What if I never learn from my mistakes?
So much can go wrong.
So much WILL go wrong.
But I know myself,
And I know I am no failure.
But all hope has left,
Along with all faith.
Relying on my own being,
Is not something I believe I can do.
However no one can do this for me.
i will find the strength,
And my journey will begin.
Until then,
I shall add to that never ending list of mistakes.