Sometimes,
I wonder how life would be like
without me.
My mind wanders to these thoughts:
and I find myself asking:
How would life be like without me?
My mom always tells me:
If I never had kids,
I would be a millionaire.
Would she really be a millionaire?
Would she be a billionaire?
Who knows
because I certainly don’t.
I wonder when she looks at me
with her tried brown eyes,
am I really a joy,
or am I a worst nightmare?
Her biggest regret?
Sometimes, I imagine myself
floating on a stream.
Floating away to being forgotten.
Has my older brother
forgotten that he has a younger brother?
Better yet, that he has two?
I always needed that positive
male role model in my life.
But it seems that I got
the complete opposite.
My brothers are what I don’t wanna be,
and I feel like I’m my dad’s
worst mistake.
But yet,
it’s still men that I crave.
It’s men that i lust for.
They say that at the end of the day,
you always get what you always had.
Guys go after
girls like their moms.
And girls after guys
like their dads.
But in my case,
I go after guys like my dad.
But I still don’t know,
since I haven’t been
blissfully in love yet.
Sometimes, I wonder how life would be like
without me.
But at the end of the day,
I still can’t picture it
without me.