Her Face Framed With the Debris of Us | Teen Ink

Her Face Framed With the Debris of Us MAG

October 26, 2010
By NatalieJean BRONZE, Harrisburg, Illinois
NatalieJean BRONZE, Harrisburg, Illinois
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments

The world fell upon her head, it came
crashing down.
Her face framed with the debris of us;
we were all around her.
Covered in a blanket of gray-powdered
memory, filthy-hearted and dirty-kneed.

With shattered hope and dressed in black, the world bit her around the neck.
She was fighting her cursed downfall as it was stealing her last breath.
Limp, with life slowly draining, it showered gray-powdered debris of us.

The flakes kissed her skin and covered her loosely. We were all around her.
As we began to seep in, gray-powdered
debris filled her to the core.
Green and blue ran from the puncture wounds, the world was now inside her.

The world fell upon her head, it came
crashing down.
Her body was now filled with the debris of us; we were all inside her.
Bleeding green and blue, the world began
to breathe.

We're living in a girl we crawled inside and
as she took her last breath, the world swept her name aside.
When the world breathes heavy, it's
breathing for her, it's breathing like Eve.


The author's comments:
This is when life started. We were just inside Adam and Eve waiting to burst out, it's hard to explain and I wish I had a painting to go with. I want people to see how we all flow together in life. I mean one minute we're just ashes and the next we're coming to life and we can hear the heartbeat of another. It's a stretch haha I just hope who ever might of read this has a very vivid imagination, I mean that is the best kind :)

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This article has 4 comments.


on Nov. 21 2010 at 12:05 am
NatalieJean BRONZE, Harrisburg, Illinois
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments
thanks, i'm glad that you liked it!

on Nov. 20 2010 at 7:55 pm
Boosflash DIAMOND, Papillion, Nebraska
55 articles 0 photos 2066 comments

Favorite Quote:
What the front door.

yeah...i dont know about the critic but i think 'the debris of us' sounds so much better.  'our debris' just totally misses the point. i love your poem captain, et oui, i am one to imagine. do your dance captain.

NatalieJean said...
on Nov. 20 2010 at 2:03 pm
I could of changed how I worded the bit about the debris but I just liked now it sounded and that it maybe was a little awkward.  I'm not sure what category it would fall under though. Your guess is better than mine I'm sure! :)

on Nov. 19 2010 at 8:07 pm
FeedTheBirds SILVER, San Diego, California
6 articles 0 photos 82 comments

What poetry style is this? It's on the tip of my tongue. Not a villanelle, but...?

Instead of saying the "debris of us" which sounds very awkward, is there a reason you didn't say "our debris"? Syllables?

Very interesting poem. Did you pick this poetry form for a reason? I thought maybe you picked it because the form imitates a cycle like the cycle of life.