what do you see when you look at me?
when your eyes give me the quick-flick once over,
drinking in my outward appearance.
do you see my freckles, blemishes,
curly hair, slightly matted
crooked nose?
do you see our common experiences?
that one night when we laughed carelessly, faces scrunched, legs splayed about?
that time you confided in me and i never told, just like i said i wouldn't
do you see past my worn in jeans and beat up sneakers?
do you see what i've been through?
the puffy red eyes, the scars, sharp tongue.
do you see the rumors? the stories? the labels?
did you make your own judgements?
do you look at my transcript and see me as that kid?
do you define me by my successes and failures?
my checklist of after school activities
you know what happens when you assume?

when i look at you, i see your facade
and maybe i write you off.
but most everyone is worth a second glance
(unless they're just straight up terrible)
your cool demeanor, annoyed glassy gaze, crossed arms
a cover
i see the dark half moons beneath your arms
the glances at the clock betraying your discomfort, your nerves.

now do you see him? that guy in the corner
the one with the bad skin and inverted posture?
i know what you think of him
and frankly you have no right
dont be another person added to the list of why someones bitter and angry and hurt.
don't tell me or him or anyone who to be
tell me who you should be, want to be, are
because thats all you have control of in this crazy life we live
this tumultuous mad ride
where all you can do is hold on for dear life
and hope that you've done enough good to have the privilege to grab the persons' hand next to you

i'm an open book
read me if you'd like to take the time
or put me on a shelf for a later perusal
or sell me for 50 cents at a garage sale
but if you do take the time
remember im no childrens story book
i've got introductions
prologues
epilogues
middlogues
logues up the wazoo
i've got foot notes, end notes, and asterisks
inserts, excerpts
but i'm no masterpiece by any means, at least not yet anyways
i'm not finished,
i'm still unwritten.

so look past my flaws, insecurities, fears
remember im only human
we all are
and maybe you'll have a few lines in my book
maybe me a few in yours
or maybe there will be an entire volume in my life dedicated to you
i dont know
because i don't know what you see when you look at me
but when i look at you
i see just a speck of hope.