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Material Girls
March 9, 2011
I don’t see my friends anymore,
I see,
Their lip gloss,
Their hair straighteners,
Their eye shadow,
Their blush,
Their foundation,
Their eye-liner,
Their mascara,
Their everything,
But them.
© Kate S., Hopkinton, MA
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This article has 6 comments.
dontforget GOLD said...
on Apr. 14 2011 at 8:22 am
very relateable... and again, I love it:] I like how it's short and to the point. As a writer, personally, I would have described the friends with different adjectives than just all make-up to mix it up a bit. This is only because I don't consider make-up something that I would not see my friends anymore if they wore. (cause all my friends and I wear it) I would see it more as their attitude, and the amount of make-up...I don't, just a thought haha..anyways, good work
Beachgirl1 PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 13 2011 at 9:17 pm
thats a great idea :) thnx!
I don't know, I always consider punctuation in poetry to be whatever the author wants it to be. However, if I was writing this, I would have put a colon after "I see" just for a more emphasized pause before you get into the full flow of the other lines. Again, great job :D
Beachgirl1 PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 10 2011 at 3:11 pm
thank you, and you are right, i will try not to use as much commas anymore!
TheCreepyNeighbor BRONZE said...
on Apr. 10 2011 at 3:09 pm
I like this. The fast paced lines were unique and had a nice flow.
Again, you don't need comma;s after ever line. Also I think I see shouldn't have a line of it's own, it's kind of like a speed bump in the flow.
11 articles 4 photos 118 comments
Favorite Quote:
"Someday soon we're gonna catch that dream we've been chasing"<br /> "Seven days without a horse makes one weak."<br /> "The worst part of riding is when you dismount."<br /> <br /> Insult my clothes, I say, “Okay, thanks for the compliment.”<br /> Insult the way I look, I say, “Thanks for notifying me.”<br /> Mock me and say riding isn’t a sport, and I’ll say,”You say that ’cause you can’t ride.” But before you make fun of my horse, make sure you have “911″ on your speed dial.
very relateable.....I think of my sister when I read this. :S
Keep on Writing! C: