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The Sea
Tap. Tap. Tap.
The rain water was beating off
the glass and sill with growing
intensity, darker clouds creeping
in, from all directions,
pushed by the foulest winds.
A storm in the making,
A Maelstrom in brew,
the splash of cars fighting
the currents, traveling through
was the only other sound.
My head, warm and dry
pushed deeper into the pillow,
the quilt, a cocoon of heat
and security, gladly surrendering
to the heavy eyes, weighed with sand.
The room was, otherwise, silent
the slow breaths pulling and pushing
the golden stance, the slight
creek of the bed adding to
this array of disturbance.
My mind was in the rain,
flooded with every possible outcome
for any experience. Emotions,
memories and doubts fell like
the hail and sleet, Silent.
The crack of every feeling,
now surging through me, surrounding
until hard to breath, each recall of
each time filled me with the urge
to just call it quits
The mere idea of the old
times made my gut wrench
like a sea sick sailor, stranded
on a sinking ship, bound to
drown in this ocean of emotion.
The laughs that filled the air,
fake and mocking as they were,
are one of thousands of instances
I am submerging in, flailing
and fighting only worsens my case.
My own mind at mutiny with me,
defying me, digging up the
forgotten or abandoned events
in time and holding them to me,
sharp and close, a cutlass to throat
Eyes wide open, a breath escapes
from my lungs, enough fresh
sea air to last a lifetime.
My bed, My boat, My mind, My crew,
I, the Captain, Aye, The Captive
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This article has 3 comments.
you didn't think you were goo! n you wrote in 10 min? i congratulate you! :DDD
i felt a connection while i was reading your poem because sometime when I can't go to sleep i feel the same way...
and i'm sorry for what you suffered for and may still be suffering for. i hope your talent in poetry writing helps you overcome it and move on :)))
Thank you for your kind words, i never really thought that i was any good, i wrote this in about 10 minutes,
this poem came from the feelings i had lying in bed one rainy morning, while i was thinking over everything in my past, my old girlfriend included, which ended pretty badly, hence my mind at mutiny with me because i couldn't stop thinking about her.
OK first of all I want to say that you have true potential :D and you have to keep writing! Ok so here is what I liked:
-The contrast you made between the storm and the silent room (loved it!! I could hear the wind and all of a sudden mere silence).
-Your Descriptions.
-The ending: CAPTAIN to captive (unbelievable!! But true)
And overall how you described feelings. AWESOME!
I am looking foward reading more of your poetry :)))
5/5*
my mind starts to wander to things that have happened to me in my past and i cant stop it. and it always leaves me feeling sick inside.