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and yet the silence lingers

August 14, 2011
By secrets_of_silence GOLD, Gisborne, Other
More by this author
secrets_of_silence GOLD, Gisborne, Other
12 articles 0 photos 439 comments

Favorite Quote:
life had i loved the more<br /> had it but passed away<br /> as quietly as the day<br /> ebbs from the darkening star.<br /> <br /> <br /> -emanuel litvinoff

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But the silence lingers
Leaves you on the edge of your seat
And you wait
Till through the dry ice
Comes the first footstep
The first whisper
The first chords
The tension builds
The lights come on
The screaming starts…..
And yet
in the echoing confines between your ears
the silence lingers

© Marina S., Vineyard Haven, MA

The author's comments:
its about the silence inside the still quietness you get when you are so tired of crying you feel dry
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 4 comments.

secrets_of_silence GOLD said...
on Nov. 7 2011 at 2:07 pm
secrets_of_silence GOLD, Gisborne, Other
12 articles 0 photos 439 comments

Favorite Quote:
life had i loved the more<br /> had it but passed away<br /> as quietly as the day<br /> ebbs from the darkening star.<br /> <br /> <br /> -emanuel litvinoff

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king of writers thanks for the criteque. have you ever seen dr. who? this poem is a continuation of the story line dealing with the silence
kingofwriters BRONZE said...
on Nov. 2 2011 at 7:07 pm
kingofwriters BRONZE, DeWitt, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 196 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Books are a uniquely portable magic.&quot; - Stephen King<br /> <br /> I love books, and I love technology, but I don&#039;t want to see the latter overwhelm the former. I just think books are meant to be pages you turn, not screens you scroll through.

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I thought it was good, but there are a few things you need to work on.

 

In poems, all the first letters of the lines are often capitalized. Also, you started off the poem with the word 'but', which makes it seem like it's continuing from another poem when it's not.

 

But other than that, you're a great poet, and I'd love to see some more of your work soon!

secrets_of_silence GOLD said...
on Aug. 24 2011 at 6:19 pm
secrets_of_silence GOLD, Gisborne, Other
12 articles 0 photos 439 comments

Favorite Quote:
life had i loved the more<br /> had it but passed away<br /> as quietly as the day<br /> ebbs from the darkening star.<br /> <br /> <br /> -emanuel litvinoff

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nggwww thanks
casielynnxoxo SILVER said...
on Aug. 23 2011 at 7:40 pm
casielynnxoxo SILVER, Pasadena, Maryland
6 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;You&#039;ll never fully understand someone, unless you are them.&quot;

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The authors comment explains a lot, I can relate to this poem.