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Without You

November 24, 2011
By Hobbles SILVER, Merritt, Other
More by this author
Hobbles SILVER, Merritt, Other
5 articles 0 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
Either you love bacon or your wrong!----unknown

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Without you I'm scared.
Without you I feel bare.
Without you there are tears.
And without you there's always fears.
Sometimes I ache,
And sometimes I just want a break.
Without you I am weak,
like I've gone beyond the peak.
Without you I just want to cry,
and I always have sad, sad, eyes.
Though I never got to meet you, I miss you.... I really do.
I want you to know that me feelings are true.
And forever and ever I will think of you.

© Gizelle S., Miami, FL

The author's comments:
I've never written a poem. This is my first time at this.
My inspiration for this is from my baby brother Matthew who died in the hospital when he was 2hours old in 2009. My siblings and I never got to meet him alive. But we can't wait until we do. Thank you.
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 10 comments.

Mrs.LOver SILVER said...
on Dec. 25 2011 at 10:21 pm
Mrs.LOver SILVER, Clewiston, Florida
6 articles 0 photos 3 comments

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'as we grow older together, as we continue too change with age , there is one thing that will never change. i will always keep in fallin in more love with you every second''

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wow its a great poem for ur first one i loved it and im sorry about ur brother
WaffleManThing said...
on Dec. 13 2011 at 8:58 pm
WaffleManThing, Vallejo, California
0 articles 0 photos 11 comments

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"just keep swimming..." by dory. :)

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awsome, i liked it
Acastillo GOLD said...
on Dec. 11 2011 at 7:49 pm
Acastillo GOLD, Phoenix, Arizona
11 articles 0 photos 114 comments

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It was really beautiful, I really liked it.
UNserieswriter said...
on Dec. 11 2011 at 12:36 pm
UNserieswriter, New York
0 articles 0 photos 75 comments

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although poetry doesnt have to, i love when they rhyme lol. Is there anything else you want viewed? i'd love your opinion on The Underground Network (chapter 15 because it's the strongest part) and Roman Leagues if you can spare the time. Can't wait to hear from you, thanks!
youngspeare BRONZE said...
on Dec. 11 2011 at 5:51 am
youngspeare BRONZE, Nairobi, Other
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i'm defintely liking your style and of course this piece! fanatastic job, do keep writing :) 
Please check out my poem "Ghosts of the Past" and rate/comment? Would really appreciate it!
LassieBob GOLD said...
on Dec. 10 2011 at 11:14 pm
LassieBob GOLD, Albion, Pennsylvania
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For this being a first poem, I've gotta say- Great! The emotion is there, although slightly hidden... Which adds to the mystery within this poem. The rhymes add something to it that I can't really describe, but I like it! =]

 

The only thing I could suggest would be working on your flow. It was slightly choppy, although this could simply be part of your style. Keep it up!

CarrieAnn13 GOLD said...
on Dec. 10 2011 at 9:59 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
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Beautiful poem!  I'm so sorry that this happened to you, but I think this is a beautiful tribute.  I appreciate the punctuation in your writing, since most people don't bother with it in free-verse poetry.  Excellent work!
nomad GOLD said...
on Dec. 10 2011 at 9:51 pm
nomad GOLD, Homewood, Alabama
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nice poem, i have been through something recently, that has put me through exactly what this poem describes.

keep writting!!

FishboytheWriter PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 29 2011 at 8:42 pm
FishboytheWriter PLATINUM, Nogales, Arizona
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Michelly-

I love this poem. Your feelings shine through it and give the words life. Keep on writing. =)

ChocoMint SILVER said...
on Nov. 29 2011 at 8:15 pm
ChocoMint SILVER, Bloomington, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 129 comments

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I loved the way the words and emotion flowed in it. My only suggestion would be to break up the line after "...never got to meet you" then make "I miss you...I really do" a completely different line. But that's just my personal preferance. Great job for your first time on poetry!!! Could you check out one of my poems please? <><