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A Learning Curve-a Sestina
She thought that she could clearly see
through his clouded eyes to his heart
because optimism over this new love
made it impossible to see his feelings weren’t true
and none of it was. But she looked in vain
to see his eyes reflect his feelings for her.
This playing ‘hard to get’ was new to her
and she was clueless. She looked at him to see
what she pleased. Breaking the spell was a vain
attempt. His smile could make her heart
squeeze. Freshly free, this boy was too good to be true
but she knew she wasn’t in love but in love
With the idea of it. This boy had never loved
another. What did she have that made her
special? How could these pretty words have truth
behind them? Slowly but surely she could see
how foolish she’d been. She had to get her heart
back somehow. But tugging and ripping was in vain
And excruciating. Insecurity cracked through the vainity
behind his icy eyes. Suddenly the love
wasn’t love. And her stomach dropped with the heart
he held. Finally she looked at herself
and realized she was spinning, lost at see
and fighting the tide to find who she truly
Was. This girl knew there was truth
somewhere in this place. Trusting wasn’t a vain
act. The tears flowed away to leave sight
that was brand new. She could love
and be loved. In the end he wasn’t for her
and therefore he hadn’t earned her heart,
Much like she hadn’t earned his heart
despite her battle. Perhaps it was the truth
that stung her, or maybe tears. He’d used her
and bruised her. She tried to repair the veins
in her battered chest. She shunned the idea of love
for the moment. She needed to use this sight
To repair herself and the crumpled heart
he’d thrown out to sea. Ripples of truth
lost in waves of vanity until no one knew of love.
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