All Nonfiction
- Bullying
- Books
- Academic
- Author Interviews
- Celebrity interviews
- College Articles
- College Essays
- Educator of the Year
- Heroes
- Interviews
- Memoir
- Personal Experience
- Sports
- Travel & Culture
All Opinions
- Bullying
- Current Events / Politics
- Discrimination
- Drugs / Alcohol / Smoking
- Entertainment / Celebrities
- Environment
- Love / Relationships
- Movies / Music / TV
- Pop Culture / Trends
- School / College
- Social Issues / Civics
- Spirituality / Religion
- Sports / Hobbies
All Hot Topics
- Bullying
- Community Service
- Environment
- Health
- Letters to the Editor
- Pride & Prejudice
- What Matters
- Back
Summer Guide
- Program Links
- Program Reviews
- Back
College Guide
- College Links
- College Reviews
- College Essays
- College Articles
- Back
Her, Me, and Thee
What stands before her,
she does not want to believe.
ANATHEMA!
Her vision becomes distorted,
-CRYING!-
but the image is already
stuck in her head.
Thee look what you all
have done to her.
I’ve watched her suffer in agony,
I’ve watched her shed blood,
I’ve watched her go mad,
I’ve… watched her kill herself.
Thee look what
you all have done.
You shunned her out.
How is it that
monsters get to live in the light,
while she was concealed behind the darkness?
Thee you made her into nothing,
doesn’t that mean something,
you all contributed to her death.
I forgot monsters don’t care or feel
all they do is lie.
I am “her”
Thee you have killed me
now I shall watch you kill each other.
Similar Articles
JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 10 comments.
yea, my cousin pushed me into writing such a long sidenote. she kept saying,
"what happens if they don't understand it, explain what that means." she can be pushy at times.
i love the darkness of your poem
and the last part were you are thee.
First off, don't provide an explanation. It makes you seem overeager and feels like your trying to say "I know it's too deep for you, so here, I'll just tell you." It's condescending.
Then, the structure is awkward. At first, the interuptions do little to help, and instead interupt the flow of the poem. Then, they never appear again when more action is happening. If you used more of them and at the end/between stanzas, they'd have a more powerful effect that doesn't distract the reader.
The first person is a little stilted, she moves from being creepily observant, to overemotional, to scolding, to horrified, to scolding, to thoughtfully observant again. Things jump around, and unless you make some impliance that the character is insane, it doesn't help your writing.
However, your action is clear, and the character I do understand, and what is happening, but your set-up needs work.
It is a good poem, a good theme, and a good use of the olden term "Thee" for powerful imagery/meaning.
"Her vision becomes distorted,
-CRYING!-
but the image is already
stuck in her head."
This means that the character was unhappy of what stood out before her, which made her cry. Her/Me tries to to come up with different scenarios that would explain of what she just saw, but no avail, it's too late, she knows the truth.
The occurrence of this event leads Her/Me to be a nonentity or recluse, and ousted in the dark becoming "mad" full of hurt, cutting herself hoping the pain, sorrow, and agony will flow out along with her blood. Later on, she kills herself, all of this is blamed by "Thee"
In the 1st two lines of the poem I don't say what is stands before Her/Me, because I want the reader to come up with ideas of why the character would cry, and call "Thee" monsters that "don't care or feel / all they do is lie."
Also "Thee"is a group of people who have lead Her/Me to her death.