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Untitled
These words are getting harder and Harder to hold back.
They give me hope
To the highest extent,
But give me doubt
As vass as the universe itself. These words give me something
To live for,
Something to hope for
And believe in;
A reason to wake up
In the morning knowing
I have to face you
And your perfectly sculpted face. But that's beside the point.
These words that make
My heart scream and squeal
With delight also
Make that giddiness turn
Into endless fear
And absolute horror.
Those butterflies in the pit
Of my stomach turn
Into vicious killing machines. And Those once soft
And gentle flutters have panicked
And gone mad,
Leaving behind sharp pain
Like stabs to the back.
But this time,
It's not my back getting stabbed, It's my heart.
Those simple,
Yet meaningful words
Have brought be back together
At the slightest sights
Of chance,
But have left me
Completely stranded
And distraught
At the tiniest sign
Of others disbelief.
Maybe they are right.
And maybe I should listen
To those who have been here before. But they forget just how
hard headed and stubborn
I am and can be.
Even though all the worry
And fret completely outweighs
The puny sliver of chance
I actually have,
Those glimmers of “maybe”
Always catch me off guard
And blind me from
The totally obvious.
Looking back on me now,
When I was fading
Into absolute oblivion
I realize now,
That maybe ignorance is bliss.
At least until
The bubble is bursted.
Then,
Then it is a living nightmare. Those Three “harmless” little words that Seeped out
Of my so-called sealed lips
Were like the needle to
My Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
All my hopes and dreams,
If you could even call them that,
Shriveled up and died
And fell to the ground
Along with all the tears I shed, Knowing,
Just knowing you don't,
And will never,
Feel the same.
From now on,
The words “I love you”
Will no longer have
The same meaning to me anymore.
However,
They still make my heart throb
And my soul ache.
So,
With all the left over pride
I can manage to muster up,
I think it's finally time
To realize we are going
Our separate ways.
I'd tell you goodbye,
But you see,
I don't believe in goodbyes. Instead,
I'll say “I'll see you later”
Because it lets my hope linger
On at the chance to
See you once again.
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Favorite Quote:
When you acknowledge there is nothing repulsive or unforgivable or shameful about yourself, it becomes easier the be that authentic person and feel like you're living a less performed life. <br /> -John Green