Hmmmm... Is hopeless devotion nothing more than misplaced obsession? I think this poem captures the struggle between devotion to another and selfishness. Isn't devotion a form of selfishness? Don't we only devote ourselves to another for personal gain? I think you capture this with ideas like "a story for my grandaughter" and in the anger the speaker feels, presumably at not having her selfish needs satiated. Of course, as you explore, devotion is a need we can't necessarily turn off or stop. We need the rewards/returns of our devotion. We need to attach ourselves to others to define ourselves. I would like to see you incorporate more indirect ways of expressing the angst the speaker feels...metaphor, simile, symbol. Some of this is a little direct at time...diary entry style poetry (to be slightly critical). These are powerful feelings you explore here, ones we all feel when realizing the efforts of our devotion are wasted or unrequited. I like how this could apply to a love interest, a deity, a role model, etc. I think reading this as a disilliusioned worshipper's rant against an unrequiting deity makes for an interesting read. Posted by the poet's friend while logged on to her account.