Relapse | Teen Ink

Relapse

May 21, 2013
By graceandfavor BRONZE, Harvest, Alabama
graceandfavor BRONZE, Harvest, Alabama
3 articles 0 photos 0 comments

No.
Don't.
Stop.
Please?
Don't go there.
NO.
Put down the knife!
What are you doing?
Stop.
You don't really want to do this!
It's wrong!
No.
You're not gonna get anything out of this.
Please stop!
It's just going to hurt you.
PUT IT DOWN!
Stop.
DON'T DO IT!
...
What did I tell you?
You were clean for FOUR MONTHS.
But one stupid bad grade sent you over the edge.
Your parents weren’t that mad about the grade.
Your boyfriend is mad that you never told him.
He only wanted to help!
Now they're all scared for you.
They don't want you to die.

I don’t want you to die either.
Then where would I be?
------------
Ow.
My conscience was right.
That was so stupid!
It doesn't even take away the pain anymore.
I can see the blood dripping down my arm.
A least it was only my arm this time.
Why did I even start?
I hate fighting with myself.
What a reprehensible mistake.
I guess I’ll have to wear my hair down tomorrow.
They're all watching me.
Making sure I don't kill myself.
But that was never my intention.
It was just to get away from the stress.
Why do I continue to choose to suffer?
I don't make any sense.

If one stupid test score can do this to me,
Then I'm never going to get better.


It hurts.
So.
Much.


The author's comments:
It hurts.

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