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My World
June 4, 2013
My life being a book,
Of questions to be answered..
And having analyzed every word,
On its papers..
I decide to create,
My own world wherein..
I'd be far away,
From this world of sin..
Not killing my dreams,
I'd live them and enjoy..
Unlike this life where,
Values are mere toys..
In my world it'll rain,
Showers of love from hearts..
Unlike this world where,
I see hate and dark..
In my world I'll receive,
All I deserve and want..
Unlike this one where,
They just scowl and taunt..
That'll be my world,
Parallel to this one..
A world where you simply,
Live,Laugh and Learn !!!
© Daniel H., Durham, NC
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This article has 3 comments.
HazelGrace said...
on Jun. 13 2013 at 11:04 pm
No problem!! :)
EndlessEmotions BRONZE said...
on Jun. 13 2013 at 9:05 am
Thanks a lot for your feedback.. Will keep it in mind and implement the next time :)
HazelGrace said...
on Jun. 10 2013 at 12:26 pm
This is an interesting idea, and I like the poem. A few things. 1. Use the .... more carefully, because putting it in there a lot lessens the effect of the punctuation. Pick one or two places important in a poem for a "...." and it will have more of a bang. 2. never use more than one exclamation point in poetry. it just kind looks weird ahah 3. nice ending 4. the word "being" in the first line would be better sounded with just "is" Being is another word you should use very sparingly
Many people,when burdened by stress,choose to escape into their shell . According to me ,if it helps you and you are able to recover quickly that way..Then whats the harm ??? ;)