Down, down, down | Teen Ink

Down, down, down

June 11, 2013
By RunnergirlAlli SILVER, Tyndall AFB, Florida
RunnergirlAlli SILVER, Tyndall AFB, Florida
9 articles 1 photo 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When writing a novel a writer should create living people; people not characters. A character is a caricature." -- Ernest Hemingway "If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don't write." -- Anais Nin


I sit here in the darkness,
Hoping, praying for a savior.
Is there a God?
If so, why hasn't he saved me yet?
If not, what’s after life,
Other than the afterlife?
Is there any way you can save me?
The darkness is condemning me
I feel my soul being swallowed by dark thoughts
In a spiral
Down, down, down
Hurry, I need you to rescue me
I hear you coming down the hall
But can you get to me before I fall
Down, down, down
The dark thoughts have won
And I cry as I flush the toilet.
You’re too late now.



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This article has 5 comments.


Planet BRONZE said...
on Dec. 18 2013 at 9:17 pm
Planet BRONZE, Elmira, New York
1 article 0 photos 3 comments
This is a great poem. I hope you don't mind, but I used this poem for an English project on poetry. Do't worr, I gave you credit. Keep writing

on Jun. 20 2013 at 10:36 am
RunnergirlAlli SILVER, Tyndall AFB, Florida
9 articles 1 photo 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When writing a novel a writer should create living people; people not characters. A character is a caricature." -- Ernest Hemingway "If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don't write." -- Anais Nin

Thank you! :)

on Jun. 20 2013 at 10:35 am
RunnergirlAlli SILVER, Tyndall AFB, Florida
9 articles 1 photo 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When writing a novel a writer should create living people; people not characters. A character is a caricature." -- Ernest Hemingway "If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don't write." -- Anais Nin

Thank you so much! :)

on Jun. 15 2013 at 2:32 pm
LexusMarie PLATINUM, Las Cruces, New Mexico
27 articles 0 photos 423 comments

Favorite Quote:
The more control you have over yourself, the less control others have over you.

Hello there. I thought that this was a wonderful poem! The title leaves an open perspective for the reader, which I really enjoy. I like trying to guess what a poem will be about before I read it. I could not guess this one! But, anyways, I thought you did a great job as far as balancing out the emotion in this poem and describing things very well. It was really interesting to read, the beginning questions are very controversial. Getting to the end and seeing what it was about made me really sad. The emotion you build up through the poem leading to the end is great, you did a wonderful job with that. This poem was wonderful. It reminded me of my poem called 'Porcelain Friend'. Good job!

xxMelxx SILVER said...
on Jun. 12 2013 at 8:33 pm
xxMelxx SILVER, Washington, District Of Columbia
5 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't die a copy, stay an original -Unknown

I like it!