Ambulance Ride | Teen Ink

Ambulance Ride

September 5, 2013
By DJ4227 SILVER, Lake Elsinore, California
DJ4227 SILVER, Lake Elsinore, California
8 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.&quot;<br /> -Mitch Hedberg


The world's a haze,
Of red and grey.

He breathily calls,
His wife's name.

One last time,
A search for life.

Tears roll down his face,
"I never got to say goodbye."



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This article has 8 comments.


on Mar. 3 2014 at 2:29 pm
Shadow_Wolf GOLD, Mayfield Heigts, Ohio
10 articles 0 photos 61 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Love is not opening your eyes but opening your heart.&quot;<br /> &quot;You see not with your eyes, But with your heart.&quot;<br /> &quot;Think first with your heart not your head.&quot;<br /> &quot;If it has a heart, It is human.&quot;

32 short words.... and still strong.... well done.

on Oct. 30 2013 at 11:38 am
ElisaTheDuck ELITE, Rigaud, Other
323 articles 5 photos 166 comments

Favorite Quote:
LOOK AT MY PROFILE. DO IT.

omg i was nearly crying as i read the last line! it's so sad it's beautiful!

DJ4227 SILVER said...
on Oct. 28 2013 at 1:14 pm
DJ4227 SILVER, Lake Elsinore, California
8 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.&quot;<br /> -Mitch Hedberg

I believe every story has cliches and that they benefit from them. Great stories like Lord of the Rings, the Harry Potter novels, The Time Machine and so many more all have cliches. Would you say they are any less creative or groundbreaking because of it? More often than not, cliches are included without conscious thought because life itself is full of cliches. I can see we won't agree on this matter, I just thought I'd give this debate one last "Hoorah!"

on Oct. 26 2013 at 9:55 pm
AnInkling SILVER, Castle Rock, Colorado
6 articles 0 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;This is your life. Is it everything you dreamed that it would be, when the world was younger and you had everything to lose?&rdquo; Switchfoot<br /> &ldquo;Have I now become your enemy by telling you the truth?&rdquo; Galatians 4:16

Well, I see how you can say that, but I do have something against cliches. I find them to be lacking in creativity, and after a while because of over use, they loss their deep meanings. 

DJ4227 SILVER said...
on Oct. 26 2013 at 6:26 pm
DJ4227 SILVER, Lake Elsinore, California
8 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.&quot;<br /> -Mitch Hedberg

Although I appreciate your feedback, I don't believe the poem needs to be changed. Based on comments on another posting of mine (which is under revision for grammatical errors) I must ask if you have a preference against cliches. I, for one, believe cliches can add realism. In this sense, the last line is a realistic thing for a man to say in such a situation and I believe putting something in simply because it's not cliche would ruin the sincerity. Once again, I thank you for your feedback and appreciate the criticism.

on Oct. 26 2013 at 11:33 am
theblondechick GOLD, Kingsport, Tennessee
14 articles 0 photos 104 comments

Favorite Quote:
I want to live and feel all the shades, tones, and variations of mental and physical experience possible in life. <br /> And I am horribly limited. <br /> -Sylvia Path

I really like the second stanza! Good job

on Oct. 25 2013 at 10:33 pm
AnInkling SILVER, Castle Rock, Colorado
6 articles 0 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;This is your life. Is it everything you dreamed that it would be, when the world was younger and you had everything to lose?&rdquo; Switchfoot<br /> &ldquo;Have I now become your enemy by telling you the truth?&rdquo; Galatians 4:16

Good job! I am really impressed with your rhythm; flawless excepts for the last line (so you may want to fix that)! The topic is used a lot, I think you really added to it. Though once again, the last line is really cliche, so you may want to change it.

on Oct. 25 2013 at 7:29 pm
LaChouette GOLD, Mount Vernon, New York
12 articles 0 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;And then there are the times when the wolves are silent and the moon is howling.&rdquo;<br /> - George Carlin

Well, that was sad! It's very nice-- clear and concise. Nice Job!