Faith
Is hard to put your finger on
And harder still to hold onto.

See,
Despite my Christian upbringing,
I decided some time ago
That I did not
Could not
Believe.

Little sense it makes, I think,
To form something so carefully
So tenderly
So “lovingly”
Knowing its purpose
Knowing its fate
Creating it for
Ruin.

Is it fair to be selective, I mean,
Let’s look at this objectively—
I can’t bear to think
Free will was made when
Nothing can be
Known.

God! You
Said it yourself, you
Claim your ways are
Beyond our understanding, so
Why would you leave your children—
Projects—standing
All alone

If a man is good
And fair
And kind
And always pays his rent on time
And always lends a friend a
Helping hand
But folds his hands for Allah
Would you send him to the
Burning pits
Eternity of
Pain?

Surely not! I tell myself but
Then I think again.
I’ve seen it written
I’ve heard it said
The only claim to
Salvation: “in
Jesus’ name…”
And that’s the key
And that’s the answer
Ding ding, we have a
Winner.

And that should give me
Hope.
That should give me
Peace.
That means Suzie with the
Five kids and the
Night job and the
Tough breaks won’t be
Damned. We are not
Perfect.

And thank God for that.

If you were keeping tally,
We would all go straight to Hell—
There’s too much sin!
As for me, I’m
Inclined to think that
Someone got a little
Trigger happy,
Label-marking
Everything as
Sin.

And
This creates a problem.
Your word says, “Do not judge”
But that’s a bit ironic, no?
“Hate the sinner,
Love the sin”—oh,
That’s not how it
Goes.

Religion is the
Perfect blend:
Hypocrisy,
Rebuke.

So
Where does one draw the line?
Which of these sins is “acceptable,” like
“Stick it in the back, no one will
Notice.”
And for what sin should we
Raise our pitchforks
—the ones that say
“God hates you”—
And deny them human rights?

This is coming off a bit more, hmm,
Confrontational than I intended--
Like I said, God, I’m just
Trying to be
Objective.

But…

It’s not objective, is it?
It’s not about the
Logic or the
Reason or the
Sense. It makes no
Sense.

But today a security guard put
Teardrops in my eyes for his
Sheer kindness.
And as he walked away, I said,
“God bless him,” like I meant it
Like I thought that you were
There.

I said it
On an impulse
I’m uncertain of
My doubt.

And I can’t help but think
I can’t help but wonder
If a gentle man with
Simple words could
Make me change my
Mind, if
It’s the little things—
The unbidden emotions—
That truly rule us all.

Now,
Who am I talking to?