It kills to be loved | Teen Ink

It kills to be loved

September 30, 2013
By madison-ave BRONZE, Atlantic City, New Jersey
madison-ave BRONZE, Atlantic City, New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
bloom where you are planted ~


A virus
in search of a host
a cell to attach to
to infect
if only to be
noticed

It means
no harm
it
pines for
attention
for acknowledgment

It kills
but not
to kill
it kills
to be
loved



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This article has 5 comments.


east_of_ada said...
on Oct. 17 2013 at 10:41 pm
east_of_ada, Null, Other
0 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;As for me, I am a watercolor. I wash off.&quot; (via Anne Sexton,&quot;For My Lover, Returning To His Wife&quot;)<br /> <br /> &quot;I think I made you up inside my head.&#039;&#039; (via Sylvia Plath, &quot;Mad Girl&#039;s Love Song&quot;)<br /> <br /> &quot;You called it cosmic; I thought it was icy.&quot; (via Ada Coen)

okay, first off, lovely concept. i do really like the ideal of social acknowledgement being a virus that literally contaminates you~it's good. however, me personally, i dislike the shortened lines of the second stanzas; it feels out of place in considerates with one and three.  as a whole, the stanza lines to me seem a bit uneven and jagged, but that's a personal thing. in terms of content, i'm not going to recommend metaphorical/literal or whatever, as you need to to figure out what sort of style you want, not what i'm here to tell you~. in truths, all i believe you need is more depth, otherwise, this poem would be a lovely piece of word.

Kindle GOLD said...
on Oct. 17 2013 at 10:32 pm
Kindle GOLD, Sudbury, Other
11 articles 0 photos 93 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;There is no subject so old that something new cannot be said about it.&quot; -Fyodor Dostoevsky<br /> <br /> &quot;Forgive me my nonsense, as I also forgive the nonsense of those that think they talk sense.&quot; - Robert Frost

This is really interesting as far as biology poems go, although the aesthetic aspect is slightly lacking.

on Oct. 17 2013 at 10:30 pm
madison-ave BRONZE, Atlantic City, New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
bloom where you are planted ~

thank you , i kind of had a feeling it was quite underdeveloped. i'll work on revising/adding to it. thanks much xx 

on Oct. 14 2013 at 2:15 am
Shade3043 DIAMOND, Shade3043 Did This, In Case Of Anonymous, Other
87 articles 0 photos 168 comments

Favorite Quote:
When I was a boy, I would always hear scary things in the news and my mother would say to me, &quot;Always look for the helpers. Everywhere you look you will always find people helping.&quot; - Fred Rogers

Oh, and it seems like you're just making new lines randomly, you should also consider making lines that actually make sense when you make a new line

on Oct. 14 2013 at 2:14 am
Shade3043 DIAMOND, Shade3043 Did This, In Case Of Anonymous, Other
87 articles 0 photos 168 comments

Favorite Quote:
When I was a boy, I would always hear scary things in the news and my mother would say to me, &quot;Always look for the helpers. Everywhere you look you will always find people helping.&quot; - Fred Rogers

Doesn't really make an impact on me, and leaves no room for interpretation based on the title. Pretty short, no spectacular imagery. Try to add length, imagery, and a sense of interpretation in your future articles. Keep at it. I know that you could be an extremely talented writer, but for now this isn't that good of a poem for me. Needs work. 2/5