holding my breath, waiting for you. my eyes filled with tears, my breath cold in the air around me. what is it about you? why am i so attached? sometimes i feel like im waiting, and it will be worth it...but most of the time i hold myself up with what i have left of myself and dont have very much of myself to count on. if i was dying at your feet, would you bring me to life or would you stand there to watch me smolder from the flames of a broken heart? i keep waking up in a cold sweat and an empty bed after dreaming of you and the horror of being without you. i hold my head between my knees and my dreamcatcher hangs above my head as if mocking me. telling me im not good enough, that nothing will take away these nightmares and i cry so fiercly, my heart feeling as if someone is clenching it as tight as they ever could. theres a feeling in my stomach that will not leave me alone. baby.