Tears rush down my face
Leaving a trail behind that screams out
Pain and despair.

There’s no use holding them back.
They’ve crumbled up my last flood gate,
Melted it away like it was a block of ice.
The same block of ice
That cemented itself in my throat,
Blocking the passage for my shrieks of agony.

I’m shaking horribly,
An earthquake inside,
Trying to destroy the last thing that I hold onto;
Hope.

My thoughts in my head are racing,
Racing like a race car,
One minute there
The next not,
But always coming back for another lap.

I can’t keep going on like this.
I need an escape from this…
I fumble around for my wallet.
I dig through the pockets and slots until I find
What I’m looking for:
The shiny piece of bliss that takes me away from the pain of reality.

I take the blade into my hand
And line it up amongst all the other cuts and scars.
I don’t even know how many cuts and scars there are…
10?
20?
50?
I don’t know.

I close my eyes: darkness, black, nothing.
That’s exactly what I feel like,
Nothing.

I press the piece of metal to my forearm,
The place where all my emotions are released.
It’s cold…
I’m cold…
So cold…

Palms sweating,
Body shaking,
Thoughts racing,
Emotions pounding each other,
Raging within.

Heart attempting to run away, far far away.
Blade still pressed to my skin.
A rumble starting to build deep in my throat.

The rumble rising, rising,
Destroying the block of cement,
Erupting like a volcano,
The walls shaking
And all I hear is me shrieking
“NO! ENOUGH! I’M DONE!”

I take the blade away from my skin.
I rush to the bathroom with it still in my hand.
I go to the toilet and toss the blade in the water,
And just like my old friendships,
It disappears.
Gone forever.

I walk back to my room,
Bury myself under layers of blankets and sheets,
And sleep the night away.

Never have I felt so free before.