What to do | Teen Ink

What to do

January 1, 2014
By Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
28 articles 10 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I&#039;m a river that no longer flows&quot; - a friend<br /> &quot;when the people lead, leaders follow&quot; - Gandhi


It happened again and I don't know what to do
It fills me with pain and turned my mood very blue
It hurts in ways I didn't know was possible
It haunts me in ways that's simply not forgivable

It pains me and brings me down to my knees
It hurts me, showing up without ever telling me
It pains me, both mentally and physically.
It hurts me and makes me react uncontrollably.

And it makes me cry and beg for mercy
It's sole purpose is a mystery to me


The author's comments:
i will let you guess what the poem is about. it may surprise you.

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This article has 4 comments.


on Jan. 8 2014 at 8:54 pm
Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
28 articles 10 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I&#039;m a river that no longer flows&quot; - a friend<br /> &quot;when the people lead, leaders follow&quot; - Gandhi

ya, it was really bad, and during finals week too. i barely used to get any sleep because of it and ya. it was really bad. but i went to the doctors and now i have some medication to take for half a month and now i feel amazing again. 

asofnow GOLD said...
on Jan. 8 2014 at 6:43 pm
asofnow GOLD, Troy, Michigan
18 articles 0 photos 208 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nothing gold can stay ~ Robert Frost

Haha, I would never have guess what it was about. At first I was thinking of a argument with a friend or something. But it does make sense with the "pains me, both mentally and physically".

Shahrier said...
on Jan. 8 2014 at 9:52 am
youre right, i do need to work on my diction. i usually never revise my poems, so it stays original and true. you want to guess what the poem is about? lol, i had a really bad stomach ache that day and nothing could make it stop. so i did what i do when i am in pain, write to my hearts content. :) thanks for the comment

asofnow GOLD said...
on Jan. 7 2014 at 7:58 pm
asofnow GOLD, Troy, Michigan
18 articles 0 photos 208 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nothing gold can stay ~ Robert Frost

I liked the imagery in the poem but I don't especially like the rhyme. The mood should be confused and scared but the rhyming gives it a gentle, lulling tone. But in all honesty, the rhyming was very carefully done. Also I'm not sure if this was on purpose, but 'pain' was repeated a lot and unless it was on purpose, it would be better if you varied your diction. But good job on the piece.