I’m drinking so much coffee I’m feeling some sort of high
Now I’m the skinny white kid with dark circles under his eyes
His speech is slurred can’t put together any sentences
But it’s not like talking was ever one of my preferences
Is this what it’s like to grow old?
You grow mold then become a mold of a self you once were before
I want to murder I’m going insane
But I think so much I’ve already murdered my own brain
Now that I’m old I lay awake in bed all night
In class my eye twitches I don’t listen I lie that I’m all right
At home I stare at a blank page I forgot how to write
I try calming my new self but all he likes to do is fight
And this new self is selfish, self-centered, and cynical
Look at this song it’s all about me I’m so egotistical
But my mom says different that I’m loving and caring
When the truth is I never cared about the stories you’re always sharing
I can’t help but notice the change I never wanted
And the ghost that was me haunts me and remains daunted
I want to fit back into my old clothes my 2002 Superthon t-shirt
The one with ripped holes the one that’s stained with pee and dirt
But I need to accept this new person with a full heart
So I can live the rest of my life without tearing myself apart