I learned how to read tarot cards about two years ago. It's not like I believe in them or anything, but the strange thing is, I've given myself a reading about once a week from the day I finally learned. I find myself reading my own cards whenever I feel anxious or even excited. I guess it's just hard for me to wait for my future, because our future is all we ever dream of. We are pressured by the time we are adolescents to do well in school, get good grades, so we can move onto college and make a life for ourselves.
You can never hear a soul in the street wishing to be happy right in that moment or land their dream job in the next hour. If you ask anybody what they want out of their lives, their words will always include a "one day" or a "soon"; "I dream to be happy one day." "I wish to find my true love and get married soon." And I think that's kind of sad. We believe that if we are not happy in the moment we are living in, that it cannot get better and we can just pray and dream of a good future. Why do I find myself dreaming of kissing the guy I wish to kiss, instead of going out and doing it in this very moment? Why do I fantasize of the novels I could write and the poetry I could publish, when I haven't even got the nerve to write the starting sentence? Why do I feel desperation and read tarot cards to find my future, when I could live and search for it in total oblivion?