I am not a morning person, however,

When I got that call at 2 am

I knew something was wrong

First time alone.  On my own.

But they said I was wise beyond my years

I could handle it

I couldn't handle this

My mother choking up on the end of the line

"He was hanging in a closet"

Had to catch a 4 am plane

And drive through my hometown

Whose once cherished memories 

Held little meaning or value any longer

So much family in my house

Had to take a drive

Screaming at the empty road

Screaming at a God 

That I used to think was real

But then why would this happen

Where is he

There will be laughter

There will be smiling

But not now

He would want me laughing

He would want me smiling

He would not want me sad

All he wanted was to make me happy

But I couldn't do the same for him

Now it's my turn to be sad

There will be laughter 

There will be smiling

But it'll never be the same

Not really

I scream in my head

As I look at him one last time

Is he proud

He's somewhere

I used to be a night owl

But now I'm more of a mourning person.