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If Only
Have you ever stayed up all night?
I have.
A couple times.
There’s always one moment,
One feeling in you
In the atmosphere cloaking you,
that you get
when you’re up at a certain hour,
when you’ve stayed up all night.
Its as if nature and all its laws
have inhaled,
but not exhaled.
Everything in you and around you has taken that breath,
but hasn’t released it yet.
When the air swells in your mouth
just before you let it go.
Or when you’ve thrown a ball in the sky
and the instant when it pauses,
completely suspended and still,
before it comes rushing down at you again.
It’s peaceful.
It’s quiet.
And although the clock tells you
that the new day started a few hours ago,
it doesn’t feel like it.
But it doesn’t feel like the previous day either.
It’s too late for people,
but too early for birds.
Everything is open,
the world is open.
A vulnerable, vast openness.
Not a scared, raw, exposed feeling.
No, its no that.
It’s tender.
Of all the harsh, rushing, and powerful people and things in the world,
it is the one moment when you feel that tenderness
and it doesn’t make you weak.
You’re there.
You’re open and tender.
But it’s okay because everything else is too.
It’s a moment in time,
where there is no time.
A moment where you can’t remember
any other moment that’s already happened
nor worry about any moments that are to come.
You can’t remember,
You don’t want to remember.
It’s that moment in which I want to live,
to soak in the colors of life,
to stay in forever.
Because that’s where my love is.
That eternal stillness.
That’s where my love is for you.
You are that moment.
And you are where I want to stay
Forever.
And I want to tell you this.
If only you loved the right sister
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