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Fixated
If I shed another tear in the moonlight,
I may grow hair on my body and turn into werewolf,
howling at the moon for the aching loneliness it brings.
“Come here,” the innocence of the phrase
turns into a dreaded evil, making the acid in my stomach creep up my throat.
Beep beep, step up, beep beep, step down.
Another loss is only a gain for me.
The pleads of my mother only inflame power,
The begs of my friends only fill me with self-loathe.
A disappointing eye does not spark my pain,
Yet condones the demons’ victories.
The thing I hate is the only thing that can keep me alive.
One more nibble here, one bite here…
My stuffing will overflow onto the carpet,
and they will think what a shame as they throw away my pieces.
Beep beep, step up, beep beep, step down.
“Good job!” the exclaims respond to a lie.
A pat on the back and a smoothie to go,
All it takes to placate their fears.
I shed my layers of excess, everything I’ve built up and hid away.
Beep beep, step up, beep beep, step down.
The truth that I see makes everything worth it.
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