Imagine My Reality | Teen Ink

Imagine My Reality

December 17, 2014
By LotusChild PLATINUM, Raleigh, North Carolina
LotusChild PLATINUM, Raleigh, North Carolina
32 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let them hate, so long as they fear me" ~Colligula


To question if reality is a dream would make one a great philosopher, to ponder if dreams could become reality would make one a fool, believe that one's dreams have become reality and all think one mad. What if my dream were that she came to this existence from the next, whilst never touching the floor, and my clouds would be dead and void of light forevermore. Would she not come? Is that not where love comes from? Let the other side decide my fate in this world as I do in theirs, and maybe my pain would fade, me, without cares. The colors fuse into a brilliant white light and I lay back, letting it take me without a fight. I don't cry, the sun sins somewhere nigh. Torment terminated, trifles forgotten, my eyes close and I forget all that is rotten. Killer instincts soothed and tame, never chasing fortune nor fame, my cries were never for help, I'm no intellectual whelp, I am that which soars far above, too high for notice, too high for love. Crazed illusions don on me, I've come to recognize them as hope, more logical illusions-despair-with which I cope. I can see that life is but imaginary made real, two minute meals and picture box reels, and feels like heels on my peel, for I've shed and I've healed. I can live on this make believe world made by man, or I can live as I can, blessed or damned by she who ran. I know she's come, one with one and come to be done. An image that radiates no emotion, for true love is silent and kept out of notion, the whole day that leaves on its own is too stubborn to stay, and this day will die, come what may. Wait wait! Memories, don't fade, never laid to rest, nor vanished into the shade. Stay stay, don't go away. Time is time, and as thought up as it may be, it's the only real thing not made by hand, for all may change, all but the slow, fast sand.


The author's comments:

Dedicated to Rena Lynn Smith


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This article has 5 comments.


Beila BRONZE said...
on May. 29 2015 at 2:17 am
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
3 articles 0 photos 516 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." -Mark Twain

No,*I* am sorry for tugging you back into this when you're focused on moving forward. I always appreciate a response so I know you saw what I said/asked, but never ever should you have to apologize for not answering a personal question!

on May. 28 2015 at 9:42 pm
LotusChild PLATINUM, Raleigh, North Carolina
32 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let them hate, so long as they fear me" ~Colligula

I primarily write breaking lines as I go, this one was done with so much pain, that I just couldn't bare to break... I have no idea what's coming next, I kinda just make it up as I go along. Heartbreak hurts, with each piece I kill myself a little, taking the piece of life that hurts, killing it and embuing the piece with my life. I don't really know how to answer the others, sorry. I'm just trying to push forward.

Beila BRONZE said...
on May. 22 2015 at 3:30 pm
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
3 articles 0 photos 516 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." -Mark Twain

Okay, ready? I've got a long string of questions from that comment. Here goes: Do you always write without line breaks and then break lines? That would be funny because the first time I read your poetry, I was hooked by the line breaks, weird as that may sound. The rhythm created by the breaks in your poems is somehow otherworldly- I couldn't look away. Wow, you wrote a poem in "the moment" when she left?! Ladies and gentlemen, exhibit A: an Artist. It runs through his veins. So if Divinity is the final chapter, what's coming up? And why is that the last? Why that break with heartbreak (unintentional and horrific pun)? But is that not the curse and blessing of humanity- to think? To have free choice? To learn from the past and plan for the future? Why have this ability- that's God's kind of question. But as long as you're stuck with it, make the most of it. And I guess you do. Oh, so this was a never see her again deal? So big question: all the more tragic, or a blessing in disguise? Sorry to ask you to write such a long response... but who am I kidding, I'm looking forward to it. :P

on May. 22 2015 at 9:27 am
LotusChild PLATINUM, Raleigh, North Carolina
32 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let them hate, so long as they fear me" ~Colligula

Huh, I kinda forgot about this one. I hadn't put line breaks into it because honestly I didn't care... I just wanted this out of my life, I wanted this poem posted and gone. This was from the moment she left, that moment of weightlessness that I felt and the numbness of shock that filled me, like the split-second before an explosion, this set the scene for mayhem. It truly is a prologue for all that was to come, like a story really, every poem a page, Divinity being the final chapter. I suppose time is something else I've experienced in an intense manner. Whether I'm special or not, I've always either had a more warped or more clear sense of time than other people, it's hard to tell which when you're alone. It seems as though the world flashes me by in an instant, and that instant is gone. Why have this ability to think, when thinking causes the few seconds we have to be lost pondering on the past...? So yeah... This poem/prologue/whatever you want call it haunts me and yet it also has made way for more prominent works to flourish. Looking back, I probably shouldn't have dedicated it to her, but at the time it was as she had died... I couldn't talk to her and I would never see her again.

Beila BRONZE said...
on May. 21 2015 at 6:37 pm
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
3 articles 0 photos 516 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." -Mark Twain

I've been meaning to come back to this and comment for a long time. It's clearly one of your earlier works, and I'm not sure why there are no line breaks (less aesthetically pleasing), but the first line intrigued me, and I'm glad I decided to read it. From "Would she not come?" and on, I feel like you're in the early stages of growing into that style that I now just identify with you. It's cool to read this as a "prologue" to your other pieces. On that note, is this from before the break up? The dedication makes me wonder. The "I've shed and I've healed" is one of those lines that is a make-it-or-break-it kind of line for me in your poetry, the kind where I realize that the rest of the poem doesn't matter because to read this one line, it is all worth it. (Not that the rest is bad- it just totally ceases to matter whether anything further will be good or bad.) Also, I love the whole last sentence, the slow, fast sand. Actually, I'd love to see more of what you have to say about time, since you're looking for new topics. This last line and "Time..." both really capture the imagination and make me think, kind of like how your other poems capture the heart and make me feel. You remind me of Van Houten's line in TFIOS: "Time's such a s.lut. She just screws everyone over." :) Food for thought!