flinching
skins crawling
tense and jumpy
frozen
stuck to the floor
whining trembling
no one gets it
they think I am crazy
They laugh and snicker
same words in my head
"If you don't bother it, it won't bother you."
its true
that doesn't change anything though
every noise
what if
what if
these words swirl and swell in my head
the words expand as my skin thinks I am stretching it out of shape
shivers run up and down my spine
too many thoughts to comprehend
tense
like a towel being ringed
protection?
does my mind think that getting tense helps me be safe
eye brows furrowed with worry
petrified always with fear
like a deer in head lights
year after year after painful year
fear takes the wheel and steers me into pure fright
not outside
what if?
what if?
too many things could go wrong
inside is not much better
they could come in through the crack between the window and windowsil
or under the door frame
its not safe
to worried in your own world
not a pleasant way to feel
too timid
too skittish
every noise makes you jump
a creak in the floor
a tap at the window
don't come in
your very small but my fears are bigger than me
what if?
what if?
they don't get
they think your pathetic
you can't escape
they cackle and crow at you
it frustrates you even more
you cry like an infant awaken from a nap
no control over yourself
the fear beats you like a slave
spit out whines and mean words
not paying any attention to anything but
what if?
what if?
fear swallows you whole