Soft
the cotton wads that covered the scars
couldn’t stop her from making new ones,
her veins rushing like a rusted river,
the blade setting free a waterfall

How
she couldn’t have hated herself that much
couldn’t have been hunched over
overgrown fingernails digging into the toilet bowl
it wasn’t fair, it wasn’t true

No
she couldn’t have left
swept off to somewhere for them to smother the pain,
cover that crack in the wall with some tape,
pretend the building is safe

Stop
but she wouldn’t
anxiety rising like high tide
its vicious waves
walloping against the jagged rocks of the shore

Gone
careless towards her body
her corpse dragging her consciousness like a dog
occasionally tugging on the leash
when she fell too far behind

Bitter
the tears falling
tripping down her face
the pills
countless swallowed, a drop of water on the raging flame

Stolen
from her
the apologies never said
the time never spent
the help never given
the life never used quite right

And the loss
the loss that lurks above me, even if she’s still here
the pain of seeing something broken everyday
and the useless hope that it will fix itself

The
bruised legs
broken tears
breathless screams
and goodbyes