There was always that one girl in elementary school
Who actually cared what she looked like
She put on lip gloss everyday
And carried an extra pair of nice shoes with her
So she could look good after gym class
And she went to the bathroom
So she could check her hair and make sure her ponytail was still tight
Even though she was already perfect
I always went with her

And there was that one girl
Who wore the sweat pants
And the wool hat
And the baggy shirts
With a hoodie over them
Because she didn't care
I wanted to be her
I wanted to be her
So bad


But I would always have these dreams
Where I was beautiful
And I didn't have my glasses
And I didn’t have my freckles
And my body was more toned
And I could dance
And I could sing the high note
And I was the fastest runner
And I didn’t ever make a fool of myself--

Stop.

I guess those dreams are going to have to come to an end one day
because this reality I'm living in
I pretend
Is misted

So when I close my eyes tonight,
I am hopeful my dreams will mean something
Because all they do is get my hopes up
And I am drowning in hope
I am drowning in the belief
I have not lost my imagination
I am sinking in the quicksand
That used to break my fall
But now pushes me too deep

I wasn't prepared to leave the nest
And my wing broke
On the shattered hearts
That used to be whole
But lost hope
And crumbled to dust
Like the nest that once nurtured me
But is just in the past
I am
Feeling alone

That girl in elementary school used to be my friend
But I guess we all lose something that never existed