I remember every day of fourth grade
I remember smiling on the playground,
picking flowers from the ground and sticking them behind my ear
I remember the green grass and innocent laughter
Coming home and eating cupcakes
I remember walking out the door
And feeling happy
I remember driving to the doctor that day
She told me I was right on track
But the number on the scale was a bit too high
I remember my mom poking my stomach
“You’re beautiful Jacqueline”, she said
“But maybe you shouldn’t eat so much”
I remember this being fine
I remember feeling ok
Eating less is better
Got it

I remember every day of sixth grade
I was a pretty happy kid
Straight A’s and lots of friends
I remember walking out the door in my hello kitty tank top and shorts
I was just another kid
Running around the field
My dog following behind me
I remember walking back home
My mom would come over to me
“You’re getting big Jacqueline”
I didn’t mind-
I told myself
Less is better, less is better
And only ate half a cupcake that night
Eating less is better
Got it `

I remember every day of ninth grade
I just switched schools and was happy as a clam
I loved so many people, and so many people loved me
Except myself
I would live a normal life
But every day I would go home
Cry by the mirror
And tell myself
Less is better
Got it

I remember every day of tenth grade
I wasn’t very happy
The boy I thought I liked dumped me
But it was ok
I had two new best friends
Ed and Mary Jane
Ed and Mary Jane made me feel loved
In the most peculiar way
Until my mom met them both
And sent me away

I remember every day of eleventh grade
I missed my two friends
But I felt anew
I realized that they weren’t friends at all
They were liars and cheats
Less is not better
I was finally able to accept myself
Most of the time of course
But I was free

I made a horrible mistake
To trust the wrong friends
Less is not better
Less is not better
And there will never be a reason
For less to be better
I looked in the mirror
This time I saw me