There are other kinds of movies
Don’t get me wrong
There’s the Missy Franklin documentary
And others like it I’m sure
But a really successful movie
A real “Coming soon to theater near you”
Or better yet “Christmas Day”
Nothing else
It’s implied that it will be near you
It’ll be near everyone
That. S***. Sells.

It’s successful woman
A woman who’s doing it all right
Oh man, that’s the kind of woman a man wants
Powerful and strong and confident
Top of her field
That’ll get her some numbers
Because I mean,
Otherwise what would be the point?

Because those ditzy girls
All they care about is their looks
And their perfect makeup
But they only do it for guys to think they’re pretty
Yeah, they’ll turn some heads
Because I mean,
Otherwise what would be the point?

And athletes
Oh my god boys love athletes
They’re real women
They can hold their own
She can scrimmage with her boyfriend’s possy
He can show her off
Her name will echo through the boy’s locker room
Otherwise what would be the point?

What? What are you saying?
You
You mean to tell me
That sometimes
Yeah, sometimes
Women do things because they genuinely want to
That’s bizarre
That is bi-zarre