I always thought
     babies popped straight out of heaven and were brought to Earth.
   Yet couldn't make sense of how I was
the only olive-colored
person in my family.
Mama would always get pissed whenever I would ask
if I'm adopted.
But back then I
would have never thought
my background and ethnicity
was pretty cool. Having a grandfather
and uncle was enough for me
to even think I would ever need a father
in my life.  “But what was I?” I asked. It didn’t hit me when I was a young kid because no matter what color you were, we most definitely became friends.
Asian, black, white, latina…
color didn’t determine our friendship or where we’d stand.

Then I found out what were mixed
and biracial people were. I never cared to embrace that of me. Of course
the questions "what am I?"
or "who am I?" popped up in my head often since I
always asked that. Everywhere depending on where I felt as if I didn’t fit in anywhere from the weird but curious looks I would get...you could say.
Like yes, I'm alien...
No, I'm human! I’m just like you..

But I guess I had looked exotic looking
to some or whatever. I would tell Mama and Babushka what I would get asked but they just wouldn't understand. My babushka would tell me “Back in Ukraine, whatever your mom was that was you identified with.”
But I didn’t look Ukrainian nor Russian.
In other words, I didn’t see myself as white.
Yet I didn’t even know how I saw myself.
"You're Laura... Why should that matter?"
Right. Why should that matter? But my life
wasn't just full of confusion. Life was happy with no worries. I LOVED drawing & running around.
I remember having sore, red fingers
full of crayon and marker marks around my finger nails.

    As I got older, I got to aknowlegde
    and love myself as well as to  love others
    for their personality and character.
I’ve gotten used to and love how quickly my skin tone caramelizes in mid-spring to summer.
I’ve gotten used to the 30 minutes it takes my hair to get frizzy when I’m out the shower.
   And today, I feel fine with my olive skin tone,
     almond, small eyes,
        pig round annoying nose,
     dark brown, frizzy baby curls hair
     And I love myself.