suddenly im back in those moments where you were screaming and i was crying

i didnt know what to do how could i i was only a child

i mean, i wasnt a child but i was younger still

too young to know what to do

too young to save anyone

too young to work up the guts to scream

to call for help

to do anything

i blame myself for what happened

i could’ve stopped it

i could’ve put him back in jail where he belonged

i could’ve done anything more than what i did

but i was paralyzed with fear,

fear of retaliation from you or him

fear of ostracization,

fear of being pulled out of house and home and stuck into the unknown

well look at me now, in the place i feared most of all

all without having done a single thing to help

i could’ve helped

i could’ve stopped it

i should’ve stopped it

but i didn’t

and i’m the only one to blame