I am sixteen
and my feelings are swirling
like a hand churning water
and I wonder if I am doing the right thing
even though I know I am
why do I shake when I express myself
even though it’s what I want to do
and I still can’t lose 10 pounds

I always feel as if I’m waiting for something
to blossom in a flourish of talent and charisma
but reality falls through my system
like a marble hitting wood floor
when words turn into blushing mumbles
I sense disappointment in the atmosphere
which converts into shame
as it seeps through my head
like venom in my veins
and I still can’t lose 10 pounds

Sometimes there are glorious days
I see my place in the world
as a shining, glistening goddess
bringing confidence and radiance
in every breath and gesture
But I distance myself
like a child fleeing danger
and I ask myself later where I saw the danger
The Beast strikes again
as I sit alone
in the darkness and safety of my room
and I still can’t lose 10 pounds