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I Don't Have a Dad
Did you think
that leaving
was the right thing
to do?
Did you think
storming out
would help me,
would help you?
Did you ever think
that living
in a trailer park
alone
would cure you?
Would smash your bottles
and mend your heart,
like a good therapy?
Did you think
that I would thrive
without a dad?
That I'd never
pursue boyfriends
just like you
who want to love me
and drive away?
Did you ever think
of me,
when you pulled out
sipping your mug
while I
sat on the curb
and cried?
For hours I
stayed there
waiting for you,
for days I set
your spot at the table
hoping
you'd appear,
for weeks I
slept with
your college sweater
that still
smelled like
your breath,
for months I told people
I had a dad,
but he was off on a
business
trip,
then I started to say
no
I don't have a father
It's just me
and my mom
and my dog.
Yes, I don't
have a father,
unless you count that
sad man
in the trailer park
who calls everyone
"love"
Yes, I don't
have a father,
unless you count
someone who left
us all
a long time ago.
Yes,
yes,
I don't have a dad
but it doesn't scare me anymore,
I know
you're out there
somewhere
waiting
watching
drinking
and maybe
maybe
you're thinking about
your sugar pie
and how she can't stop
thinking of you.
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