ever since i was a young girl, i have wanted to be a house.
nothing so complex or lavish or extravagant. something simple, structural, and sound
i wanted 4 walls with steadfast strength that provided a stability i could only dream of
i wanted a roof to protect myself from the thunder storms that drown me out and torrential rains that wash me away over and over again.
i wanted doors, big double doors always left unlocked, because everyone was welcome but no one could stay for very long.
i wanted a garden so that passers-by might stop and take a moment to stop and appreciate the beauty in what I have done, what I have created
i wanted windows that let me see the world in its splendor and beauty, experience it, feeling the sunlight warm my body, yet still remaining entirely disconnected
i wanted black out curtains and shutters for every window that would keep all my secrets from spilling out of my television set.
i wanted a fire place where i could burn all of my wrongdoings, my regrets, my shortcomings, and i wanted a chimney to set them free.

i wanted all of these things to build myself a house. what i need now, is a way to make this house in my mind a home