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Love Like War
October 20, 2013
Intoxicated by the lie
A kiss in the dark
Blindly marching in
Battlefield of heats
Set it ablaze
Tonight
Equal to bullets
Every act we make
Has a sorry little consequence
Can’t even tell
If my life is a living hell
And you shooting your mouth again
Warring affection of the heart
Unaware of the very
B**** I’m running from
A love like war
All over the trigger
Don’t let the hammer drop
When you’re playing with matches
Burn it to ashes
This love like war
We go down together
Or not at all
Bang! Bang!
You should have known that
I would be willing to burn the whole world down
That’s war baby
© Katherine A., San Antonio, TX
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 5 comments.
SpidersAcrossStars PLATINUM said...
on Oct. 27 2013 at 4:34 pm
3/5 Again I am a little confused as to what you are trying to say. I don't think the use a profanity was really needed. I did like the third stanza though, I thought it was great. Idk just my opinion. Maybe it just that I have never experienced this nor do I agree that love is like war....
SpringRayyn PLATINUM said...
on Oct. 25 2013 at 6:54 pm
I agree with LaChouette that punctuation would help your work flow better. I think that punctuation might also help get more of the emotion you're trying to portray across to the reader. Unfortunately, this isn't the type of poem that I often read and enjoy, so I can't comment objectively on much else.
LaChouette GOLD said...
on Oct. 25 2013 at 5:42 pm
Very interesting comparison. I'm pretty sure I get what you're saying, but one thing I think your piece needs is punctuation; I think it'll help your work flow better. I am wondering about your second stanza though. It might just be me (usually, it is) but I'm wondering if 'and' really fits as the beginning to the last line. It might be me, but I'm wondering if 'or' would fit better there.The reason I bring it up is that I'm not quite sure of your meaning of that particular stanza. You can explain it to me; I'd like to know what you mean. Other than that, I think it is a nice piece. Your spelling and grammar is very good and I think it's very intriguing. Nice Job!
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Favorite Quote:
"Love is not opening your eyes but opening your heart."<br /> "You see not with your eyes, But with your heart."<br /> "Think first with your heart not your head."<br /> "If it has a heart, It is human."