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Dangerous Thoughts

January 4, 2014
By Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
More by this author
Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
28 articles 10 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I&#039;m a river that no longer flows&quot; - a friend<br /> &quot;when the people lead, leaders follow&quot; - Gandhi

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Voices inside my head contradict what I say
They hurt me from the inside and erode me away
Voices inside my head remind me of the past
They break me into pieces until my bloods been cast

I say that I’m fine, I no longer care
The voices bring back memories, no longer I can bear

I say that the past is gone, the future is now hear
I fear that’s a lie, nothing seems to be clear

I sit in isolation in the corner of my room
I sit in isolation waiting for my doom

Wish someone would save me, take me away
Block away the voices and everything they say
Save me from this misery, save me from this hell
Save me from the voices and everything they tell
Save me from the pain that plagues my every thought
Save me from the voices and the misery they have brought

© Elizabeth H., San Bernardino, CA

The author's comments:
I was about to write a normal free verse poem, but then a fellow poet inspired me to try to write song lyrics. Its sung like a country song, or like those song from old western movies or like a campfire song. Can you guys give any feedback for it?
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 13 comments.

Shahrier PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 19 2014 at 4:12 pm
Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
28 articles 10 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I&#039;m a river that no longer flows&quot; - a friend<br /> &quot;when the people lead, leaders follow&quot; - Gandhi

View profile
thank you.
ShannonLil99 GOLD said...
on Jan. 19 2014 at 9:52 am
ShannonLil99 GOLD, Ongar, Other
10 articles 1 photo 47 comments

Favorite Quote:
&#039;Why should I care what other people think of me? I am who I am. And who I wanna be.&#039; <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> - Avril Lavigne

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Wow, I love it! It's amazing, so amazing that I don't actually know what you could do to improve it... Good job!
Shahrier PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 17 2014 at 6:34 pm
Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
28 articles 10 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I&#039;m a river that no longer flows&quot; - a friend<br /> &quot;when the people lead, leaders follow&quot; - Gandhi

View profile
actually, maybe not. never mond. thanks for the ratings :)
Shahrier PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 17 2014 at 6:33 pm
Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
28 articles 10 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I&#039;m a river that no longer flows&quot; - a friend<br /> &quot;when the people lead, leaders follow&quot; - Gandhi

View profile
you know the song Counting Stars, by onerepublic? read this to the rhythm of that :)
Myvoice4change SILVER said...
on Jan. 17 2014 at 4:27 pm
Myvoice4change SILVER, Other, Other
9 articles 3 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Everything will be ok in the end. If it&#039;s not okay, it&#039;s not the end.&quot;

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You have a very good rhyming scheme here, and a title that draws the reader in. This is a very expressive poem!
haley101 DIAMOND said...
on Jan. 6 2014 at 6:50 pm
haley101 DIAMOND, Windsor, Connecticut
70 articles 5 photos 195 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.&rdquo;<br /> <br /> ― Mary Oliver

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that's true
Shahrier PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 6 2014 at 6:25 pm
Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
28 articles 10 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I&#039;m a river that no longer flows&quot; - a friend<br /> &quot;when the people lead, leaders follow&quot; - Gandhi

View profile
it just goes to show that our poems/struggles are universal. for good or bad? i dont know.
haley101 DIAMOND said...
on Jan. 6 2014 at 11:55 am
haley101 DIAMOND, Windsor, Connecticut
70 articles 5 photos 195 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.&rdquo;<br /> <br /> ― Mary Oliver

View profile
yeah, definitely. about the thoughts, too, that's what really got to me.
Shahrier PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 5 2014 at 9:48 pm
Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
28 articles 10 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I&#039;m a river that no longer flows&quot; - a friend<br /> &quot;when the people lead, leaders follow&quot; - Gandhi

View profile
thanks. and just so you know, love is real. its just depends on where you look and their personalities. 
Shahrier PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 5 2014 at 9:47 pm
Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
28 articles 10 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I&#039;m a river that no longer flows&quot; - a friend<br /> &quot;when the people lead, leaders follow&quot; - Gandhi

View profile
thatnk you, and perhaphs i can give you some advise ( love is real) at leat i know mine is when i truly care about people (and i dont mean that in a sexual way)
loveisntreal GOLD said...
on Jan. 5 2014 at 9:37 pm
loveisntreal GOLD, Arcata, California
19 articles 0 photos 51 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;you live what you&#039;ve learned.&quot; -linkin park

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this was very good. i wish that i have some advice to give you, but it seems you've got it. :) your a good writer.
Shahrier PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 5 2014 at 6:33 pm
Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
28 articles 10 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I&#039;m a river that no longer flows&quot; - a friend<br /> &quot;when the people lead, leaders follow&quot; - Gandhi

View profile
eerie, right? :)
haley101 DIAMOND said...
on Jan. 5 2014 at 10:32 am
haley101 DIAMOND, Windsor, Connecticut
70 articles 5 photos 195 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.&rdquo;<br /> <br /> ― Mary Oliver

View profile
this reminds me of my poem, escape! and to think I used the same picture. very nice job.